DELETED and EDITED.

Yeah, I know. I should own my words. But there are some things we own that it's best to get rid of.

Leaving some funny bits that have no context, but they make me laugh.


Hey, did I spell "intelligence" correctly? Because that's just the kind of dumbass crap that happens when I'm stomping around pissed about something and trying to get on both my hoity AND my toity.

AAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHHH!! I hate when irony uses me as her bitch.

HA! But I just made myself laugh and laugh. I will be using that phrase again and often.

Hey, I have an idea. Let's do a SOTD. A GOOD one!!

This was an accidental find. I was trying to pick up a song on the radio, and Shazam tagged this one instead. And I'm so okay with that. Art Brut...I will be looking more into you.

Incidentally, this was the song I was trying to find. Ain't it purty?

And this cartoon just seems to resonate with me lately.






Shalom, y'all.


I know not 'seems.' -Hamlet

My kitchen is a museum to Graylin's oeuvre of art. Hand prints, golf-ball paint projects, swirls, construction paper, bold color schemes, and her first scribbled missives that she "reads" for us (including my favorite: "Happy Birthday, Daddy! PS: M is for Mommy!" Written in August, Tom's b-day is in November. Love it.).

I daresay, I prefer it to a room of Picassos, Van Goghs, and Botticellis combined.

She also makes up her own songs, that she sings either to her critters or to us when she feels like it. My favorite is a regular but changing song that she sings about my sister's horse farm. The lyrics are always about the farm, but they change as she thinks of different aspects. The latest incarnation went something like this:

"Peanut is a pony
she's not big
and I feed a carrot
to the really big horse
and Nellie died
and it's Aunt Paige
and we drove in the cart
and it's called Blossom Ferry Farm
and we fish in the lake
and...

(in speaking voice)

and that's it."

You may have noticed the bit about Nellie. That was Paige's dog who was recently hit by a car. That line gets same inflection as feeding a carrot to the big horse. The first time we heard that line thrown in KILLED us! Tom said, "It has it all, laughter, tears...perfect country-western song."

Incidentally, my sister is insanely tickled that her farm, and her beloved dog, are immortalized in song.


Kids are so freaking cool.

The phrase "where are you AT?" implodes every nerve in my body. Even when said by the SMOKIN' hot guy sitting next to me in the car wash waiting room.

Another perfect example of A DuckTape Boy (cute guy who really shouldn't open his mouth)

Click, click.

Who's there?

( PICTURES!!! )

We're moving slow, but we'll get there someday, I suppose.

Had the rare privilege of helping a friend pick out furniture for her new pad today. Score! Apparently it's furniture season: salesmen were offering the deep discounts. But better yet...there was zebra striped fabric available. Her apartment is going to be quite the swank joint.

And then tonight I ran away from home to meet up with Will and Ele at Big Boss Brewing Co.. I haven't laughed out loud like that in a LONG time. And then I sheepishly left at midnight because I have to get up early to take kids to the pumpkin patch tomorrow. Which I'm actually looking forward to, even if it does happen at god-awful-o'clock.

And this is what I listened to on the way home.

A fabulous, fabulous Friday night.

Ed.-I was just informed that it's Saturday. Meh...you people and your details.

Dax rolled over today!! Back to tummy. And then looked very surprised. Then burst into tears. I think he was trying to grab the cardinal on his playmat and overshot the distance a bit.

This and other true stories at Fallen Princesses.

And along these lines, a little ditty about a day in the life. Of a M-Fing Housewife.

Werd.

Tom changes the ending of "Cinderella" for Graylin so that Cinderella ends up doing Research and Development for TCI (The Castle, Inc.) happily ever after.

So I guess these days Cinderella is wearing a short skirt and a looooooooooooooong jacket.

The phrase "I will shank your ass" is especially terrifying when said between two white middle class mothers discussing playground altercations.

HEY! How about a SOTD? Remember when I posted those? HA! Well, here's a fun one that I found scribbled on a lactation consultant's business card. The two incidents are not related, I assure you.

I’m sitting in a Whole Foods with a cup of coffee and a box of tissues trying to mop myself up in front of a bunch of urban hippies.

( There's more! And pics! )

I actually just got annoyed that I got unfriended on FB by someone I don't even like that much.

Time to adjust some priorities!!

Dax's first grin for the camera
Originally uploaded by commasplice


If you knew the shenanigans going on behind the camera, you'd understand the expression...

Yes, I have music for you. Yes, I need to update. Yes, Dax is screaming and G is needing the love.

Yes, I NEED SLEEP!

But yes, I miss posting and (one-sidingly) chatting with you. Hope to do that soon.

We had tix to go see The Old Ceremony with The Annuals at the North Carolina Museum of Art last night.

As I have often ranted, I love me an outdoor venue. I remembered the NCMA being pretty mellow, so we thought we'd take Dax. Well, we didn't even get into the gate before I said, "Nope. Too loud." (Yes, BD, you were right. I'll say it again..."YOU WERE RIGHT!!")

So we packed up, took off for the nearest C-store, and came back with a couple of beers. Hey, the night was young, we had a sitter, and there was a lightening storm in the clouds that was not to be missed. I figured we'd walk the NCMA greenway and listen to the music out there.

So we're enjoying ourselves and our diaper-bag stash of Stella Artois and life is good...until we see the cherries and berries coming our way. And yes, it stops right in front of us.

"Good evenin', Officer! We discovered the music wuz to loud for muh bay-bees tendah eahs and thought we'd just take a little ol' walk and listen to it out here. I hope that's all rii-iiiight."

Apparently, as Officer Friendly informs us, you are NOT allowed on the greenway after dark ("Yes sir, thank you sir, please don't look in the stroller lest you find the kilo of heroin we were going to distribute, sir")

After he leaves, Baboo is just staring at me. "What?!" I say.

"What the hell is up with the Scarlett O'Hara?"

"Hey, we still have the beer, don't we?!?!"

We ended up going back to the car, popping the hatchback and tailgating for a few songs. Apparently I am not destined to see TOC live.

So Dax is not even four weeks old and has already been an unwitting accomplice, aider and abetter, and all-around cop dodger. This does not bode well for his future.

I just took a scolding from my sweet Baboo about me doing too much and needing to take time to rest. It must have been serious. He turned off the TV and everything.

Just for the record, I skipped a supper club tonight, agreed to pass on a b-day party tomorrow, and planned to buy food for Sunday night instead of make it. Hey, I'm amenable.**

Give me 2 uninterrupted REM cycles and I'll be borderline jolly.

Praise Marty Moose.

**amenable: \ə-ˈmē-nə-bəl, -ˈme-\ adj.
1a: capable of submission (as to judgment or test) : suited (the data is amenable to analysis) b: readily brought to yield, submit, or cooperate (a government not amenable to change) c: willing 1 (was amenable to spending more time at home)

2. a condition brought on by the consumption of two glasses of wine and long-term sleep deprivation. (was amenable to the idea of a pump-and-dump so I could have more wine)

G and I have watched this three times in a row, singing and dancing the whole way through. I couldn't stop grinning!

Granted, this is the guy who beat up Rihanna at the Grammy's, proving he's not only a brute but a bit of an idiot in his timing.

But the wedding party looks like tons of fun.